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I know, you are used to being in charge and having everything "under control".
I know you are the one who loves to help but dislikes to ask for help.
I know you are used to deal with it all without asking anyone for anything.
Now it's time for you to let down that shield, breathe, ACCEPT your illness, and let go of the old you.
Accepting your burnout, an illness your way of living has caused, is a big pill to swallow. I KNOW! Been there, done that! And you better believe, there was resistance before I got there!
The first thing I asked the doctor was "What do I need to do to heal as quick as possible?".. Yes, you read it correctly.. You can only imagine my face and feelings when the doctor replied "Terese, this is the thing with mental illnesses.. you don't know. I can't say if you'll be well again in 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years or even ever"..
"But with your mindset, you probably will"
BOOM! Right in my face! You can imagine my reaction, as a former control freak.. "Wait, what? Is there something that I can't control?"
Funny thing, I didn't like that answer, so on my first appointment with my psychologist, I asked her the same question.. and yes, you know it already, her answer was the same as the doctor's..
It was like I had fallen down a pothole and I was in panic, running around in circles, trying to jump up from the whole even if I knew it wasn't possible.
It wasn't until I finally stopped, and surrendered, by accepting my illness, that I found these sticks on the ground. I found them one by one, and eventually I had built a ladder that got me up from that hole.
The advice I want to give you with this story is, to stop now, take a paus, and start looking for your sticks. I got out of my pothole and so can you. It might not be in the way you want, but it most certainly will be in the way you need. Each stick represents a lesson.
You've got this, gorgeous, I believe in you. You know you have the power within, because you make things happen. You just have to open up for new ways and new learnings.
I wish you a beautiful day
XoXo
Terese
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