When I had recovered mostly from my burnout, I went to the hairdresser and was so freaking ready for something completely different.
I had seen the movie "365 days" with the well known phrase "Are you lost baby girl", and loved her change from the long brown hair to the short blonde. That's what I wanted and that's what I asked for.
My hairdresser that KNOWS me, said how she could feel I was ready READY. She didn't hesitate at all, because she knew this market me saying goodbye to an old chapter and opened up for a new one. I wasn't lost anymore, I had finally started of be me.
These last 2 months I haven't been sure whether to stick with the blonde or go back to darker. Turned out I'm still in my blonde chapter. I love this and it feels home.
It wasn't the first step in my transformation, before that I had separated and moved out of the house I had with my husband back then, quit my studies at the University, got divorce (we started as separated), and started to work at the gym. It was like the hair was the final touch to it, when I had started to feel good again. The fatigue was gone, I was genuinely happy and smiling again. I had started to love life and felt such peace within. I still remember how I met on old friend one day when I was working, she looked at me and said "You look truly happy now", and that was the best compliment I could've received because it wasn't a facade anymore, this was true and it shined through.
No matter where you are, you will know when it's time for a new chapter, and it's up to you how you want to start it. However, I recommend you to not continue to carry "dead weight" with you into the new one. Make a clear mark, it can be your hair, but it can also be to add new habits in your life that you do for you, or maybe it's a jewellery, or tattoo, do what you want.
Let this weekend be about you, think and feel about when you feel the best, make notes, or journal about it.
Happy Weekend
XoXo
Terese
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